tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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