Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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