let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
