you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
