A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
