I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
