is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
