Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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