do herpes really smell.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
