I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
