I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
