it was like eating out sand paper
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
