is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
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