i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
