College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
