Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
