what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
