Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
