went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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