she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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