I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
