just tell him i said nine months
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize