im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
