I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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