Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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