He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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