Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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