did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
