Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
