Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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