I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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