A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
