I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
