She said her name was "party"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
