awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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