I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
