yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
