3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
honey bunches of taint.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
