By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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