JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
