I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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