is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
