so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize