WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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