They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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