the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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