dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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