im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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