the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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