If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize