Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
