Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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