i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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