I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
