This girl is more easily done than said...
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
