He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
