You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
