you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
