what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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