it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
