I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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