No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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