Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
